Thursday, November 14, 2013

Latest from Hermana Paige.  I love her honesty and willing example to learn and grow and give all credit to the Lord!  Miss you Paige!


Well, all I can say is thank goodness it´s a new week and that we get to start over again. It´s been a rough one. But one with a good ending. So it started out normally and everything was fine, nothing too exciting, nothing too bad, but fine. Then we got to tuesday. It was going to be a great day! We had 6 lessons we were going to teach (which is a whole lot for us!) and then every single one failed. We had nothing. I felt like a really crappy missionary. It was probably one of the lowest days I´ve had in the mission so far. That was only magnified on thursday when I was reading my scriptures and there were so many about pride. I kind of had an epiphany that day with the whole companion situation that I´ve been dealing with. I realized that as much as I may want to change things about my companion, I can´t. But I can change me, and I can change the way I go about things. I realized the pride that I had in my heart and my unwillingness to change. It was a very humbling morning. I went to my room and cried for most of the morning. I felt completely torn down. I felt like I wasn´t doing anything right. I felt like I wasn´t good enough, that there was no way that my Heavenly Father actually wanted me here, because there was no way I was doing a good enough job with his work. Well after a day of wallowing in self pitty, I decided to pick myself up and get over it. I decided that no, things may never be perfect with my companion, but I´m going to try to at least make them better. No, I may never be a perfect missionary, but I could do better than I was doing then. And so that´s what I´m going to try to do. Things are definitely going better. The work may not be going better, but I´m at least happier. My companion and I still have hard moments with each other, but we´re found fun things we can do together. I may not be able to see all the fruits of my work, but I know that I´m here for a reason. I really do love these people. I can´t imagine not knowing them. I can´t wait until one day you get to meet them too. I don´t know why I´m needed here, but I am, and I´m going to try hard to do what the Lord wants me to do.

Alright, well now that I´ve told you all that, I´ll tell you about my spanish. It´s coming. Poco a poco (little by little) just as everything else, but it´s definitely coming. I catch myself thinking in spanish and I can communicate what I want to say a good majority of the time. I obviously have a long way to go as learning a language completely takes a long time, but I finally am feeling like yes, maybe one day I really will be able to do this and talk to people like I really know what they´re saying instead of just nodding my head like I understand them. Haha. One day, but it´s definitely coming. Although there are some days where I swear that my head is just sick of spanish and it rejects to translate or understand it because somedays I just  can´t understand anyone haha. But it´s good. I gave a talk in church yesterday, obviously in spanish, and I got lots of complements on it so I guess that´s a good sign! I felt like it went pretty well. It was on missionary work. We´re trying to get the members excited to work with us more and to help us out. It´s hard because Murcia at one point was the most successful area in the mission, but now it´s kind of dead. Our ward has only had 4 baptisms all year and one of them is already inactive. So we´re got lots of work to do, but it´s not going to go anywhere if we don´t get the members to help us out. 

Well I don´t have much more time today, so I´ll end here. But I love you all with all my heart! Being away from you has only shown me how much I love you and how much each one of you means to me. I´m grateful for the knowledge that this and any other seperation that may come our way is only temporary. We will be together forever. And I wouldn´t have it any other way. Thank you for all your love and support! Talk to you next week!

Hermana Walton

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